Matrimonial ads version -toooooooo funny

These are Girls profiles taken from a matrimonial website.

Grammar and spelling errors have no place in a Profile description as everything is straight from the heart!

Disclaimer: I am not responsible if you forget your basic grammar after reading this mail...

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Hello To Viewers My Name is Sowmya , I am single i dont have male,If
any one whant to marrie to me u can visite to my home. I am not a good
education but i working all field in bangalore .. if u like me u
welcome to my heart... when ever u whant to meet pls visit my resident
or send u letter..
Thanks
yours Regards Sowmya ~*~
(Truly yours)

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i want very simple boy. from brahmin educated family from Orissa state
she is also know about RAMAYAN, GEETA BHAGABATA, and other homework
(Wut Homework?)

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I am a happy-go-lucky kind of person. Enjoys every moments of life. I
love to make friendship. Becauese friendship is a first step of love.
I am looking for my dreamboy who will love me more than i. Because i
love myself a lot. If u think that is u then why to late come on
........hold my hand forever !!!

(The dilwale dulhaniya effect)

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i am simple girl. I have lot of problemin my life because of my
lucknow i am looking one boy he care me and love me lot lot lot
(I don't know why but this is one of my favorites)

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i want a boy with no drinks if he wants he can wear jeans in house but
while steping out of house he should give recpect to our cast
(by not wearing his jeans? Wat the hell...)

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HYE I AM A GOOD LOKING GIRL,WHO HAS THE CAPABILITY TO MAKE ANY BODY TO
LOUGH.I BELIEVE IN GOD AND ACCORDING TO ME FRIENDS ARE THE REAL
MESSENGER OF GOD. THE 3 THINGS I AM LOOKING FROM A BOY
THEY ARE
1. THEY MUST BELIEVE IN GOD.
2. THEY HAVE TO LIKE MY PROFFESION
3. THEY SHOULD NOT GET BORED WITH ME WHEN I WILL TRY TO MAKE THEM LOUGH.
(all of us are loughing {laughing})

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whatever he may be but he should feel that he is going to be someone
groom and he must think of the future life if he is toolike this he
would be called the man of the lamp
(I am clueless, I feel so lost. Can anyone tell me what this girl wants)
Infact she doesn ?t know wat she wants ?.. ? A LAMP ? ?

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i love my patner i marriage the patner ok i search my patner and I
love the patner ok thik hai the patner has a graduate ok
(I am again clueless but I liked the use of "ok". The person is
suffering from "Ok-syndrome")

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iam pranati my family histoy my two brother two sister and father &
mother sister completely married
(somebody please explain in comments section how to get married
'completely'?)
( Confused ????? )

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my name is farhanbegum and i am unmarried. pleaes you marrige me
pleaes pleaes pleaes pleaes pleaes pleaes pleaes
(height of desperation! J )

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iam kanandevi. i do owo businas.one sistar.he was marred.
(No comments)
(Plz ? for gods sake ask somebody ?s help in framing sentence )

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hello i am a good charactarised woman. i want to run my life happily.
i divorced my first husband. his charactor is not good'. i expect the
good minded and clean habits boy who may be in the same caste or other
caste accepted ...
(but credit cards not accepted..???)
(Perhaps Debit Cards accepted ?.. Clean Habit s??????? Is there
anything like that.)

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I am Sharmila my colour is black, but my heart is white. i like social
service.
(Zebra..???)
(Gosh!!!!!!!! she knows her heart color)